VICE

2022-07-23 00:35:39 By : Ms. Doris Li

July is a scorcher—but for every summer pitfall (constant sweating, rolling blackouts) there's often a silver lining (looking dewy, holding a summer seance). Longer days equal more time to glisten (responsibly ) in the sun. The key to looking the good kind of hot all season is to pick a swimsuit that is so flashy it will completely distract from the sweat dripping down your inner thighs. 

Whether you’re into silvers and blues or warmer metallics like bronze and gold, there’s a style and price point to emulate whatever icon is inspiring your sun-soaked beach fantasy—be it Bond girl, go-go dancer or a glitzed-out Michael Phelps on his day off. We found an overflowing treasure chest of precious-metal bathing suits for women—including designer options from Balenciaga, Oséree, and Norma Kamali— so you can cosplay as any of these highly reflective celebrity hotties once you’re high on life and drunk on craft seltzer . Dudes don't get the same overwhelming amount of choices when it comes to swimwear options, but there are plenty of spicy Speedo-style suits and cool streetwear options for drawing just the right amount of attention to your junk with disco-dancing gold lamé or Stone Island baggies. Read on for the best metallic swimsuits for everyone.

Get the glam energy going without spending big bucks (and while taking advantage of Amazon’s very chill return policy if you’re not sure of your size)’ with this chic black Lurex one piece that doubles as a saucy little bodysuit—and hell yeah, it’s under $35. Just throw on a pair of shorts or a mini skirt and you’re ready for a sit-down dinner of coconut shrimp or to hit the dance floor to the Jimmy Buffett cover band.

Khloe Kardashian’s surprisingly solid clothing line, Good American , makes flattering swimsuits for all bodies.These sparkle bikini styles come in an extended size range, and this emerald green color will absolutely make you the ruler of Oz. 

Oséree is the undeniable GOAT of glimmering yacht-in-the-Mediterranean style cruise wear, with everything from glittering head wraps for when the sails go up to sparkly caftans for going straight to the club, dive bar, or Red Lobster après plage. We’re obsessed with this color-blocked iteration that quells our indecision about what jewel tone to rock and gives us an excuse to pack more coordinating coverups. 

Monday Swimwear is a great brand for those looking for suits outside the standard size range. Whether you have a bigger bust (their tops are sized by cup size and go up to an E/F) or are particular about the cut and coverage on your bottom half, the brand allows you to mix and match to create your own perfect style in a ton of sparkly colors. 

Skims is all over the shiny swim trend with a new capsule collection including bikinis, monokinis, and coverups. If you’ve been looking for something with more coverage, or searching for an iconic triathlon look, this nylon and spandex swim cycle suit will hug your curves and keep all your goodies in place while you surf the waves or run in the sand. In addition to a silvery “nickel” color, t’s also available in gold and champagne (a brut rosé) for a whole vacation's worth of lewks. 

I don’t know if you heard, but bimbos are taking over and we are here for it. Elle Woods was ahead of her time, and there’s no better way to pay homage to her legacy than with an absolutely outrageously sequined bikini, because before you can get them to hear you, you gotta get their attention. 

Norma Kamali has been making ridiculously flattering swimsuits for decades. While her suits can be quite the investment—this divine studded number is $575—this illusion piece is a comparatively reasonable $155 and it will accentuate your most bangin’ features. In between a one piece and a bikini, it’s the best of both worlds, and the invisible mesh ensures that a quick flip on your towel won’t result in a nip slip.

Lurex has been around for over half a century and is always in-style . It’s a sure bet when investing in a more expensive bathing suit because the strong metallic woven fabric tends to last. This means you can wear your stellar suit into your golden years, and your future grandchildren will greedily bow at your feet when you pass down your Balenciaga “vintage 2022” gold one-piece or a classic, skinny-strap, turquoise Missoni number. 

If you’re channeling a celebrity on a super-secret vacay, you’ve gotta look expensive yet down-to-earth. There are a ton of trunks that are understated yet still spicy. Stone Island and True Tribe make super-reflective shorts that glow when the light hits them just right, and these wavy metallic embroidered shorts have just the right amount of glitz.

If you’re heading to Ibiza, or a rave in Bushwick where “less is more” is the dress code, the answer is a mesh tank and a metallic banana hammock. Amazon’s version comes in seven different shades and has over 1,000 positive reviews. One five-star commenter raved, “the pairs I previously owned smushed the front and were kind of baggy in the back. This swim brief does neither of those things! The pouch is flattering without being lewd.” On the other hand, you really can’t go wrong with a classic Speedo—if it’s good enough for Olympic heat , it can probably withstand some intense twerking. 

The good news for all the logo maniacs out there is that there are a ton of luxury options on the market when it comes to men’s swimsuits, including a very special pair of gold pentagram briefs from none other than the Dark Lord himself, Rick Owens . Moschino also makes a flashy swimmer in silver and gold, and perhaps as no surprise, Dolce & Gabbana offers fully gilded shorts that could just as easily be worn to lunch as to the pool. 

Go out there you little superstars and sparkle. Just remember to hydrate!

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter .